


The Sly Thief of Vallensais

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, PWP, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-22
Updated: 2002-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:24:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex and Clark re-tell an old tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sly Thief of Vallensais

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an old and very rare French Fairy Tale. If anyone wants to correct my French, please do. All I know is that the town is pronounced "Val-in-say". 

## The Sly Thief of Vallensais

by MidKnight

[]()

* * *

Title: The Sly Thief of Vallensais  
Author: MidKnight  
Email: MidKnightslair@juno.com  
Fandom: Smallville  
Pairing: Clex  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Niether Clark nor Lex belong to me, nor does the French Fairy Tale within. 

Lex gasped for air and slowly crawled off of Clark's back, rolling to lay on his side in the massive bed. The teen purred for a moment before nestling into Lex's side and throwing an arm across Lex's chest. 

"God that was good." Clark breathed, still panting heavily. Lex nodded, still pre-vocal, and ran a hand through Clark's raven locks. Clark cuddled closer and Lex smiled. "Tell me a story?" 

Lex blinked, a little thrown and glanced down at Clark who was smiling up at him lovingly. 

"What kind of story?" Lex asked, willing to do anything when Clark had that look on his face. 

"A fairy tale." Of course, Lex thought. "You had Nannies and stuff, you should know all kinds of fairy tales." 

"You're sure you want me to tell you a fairy tale? You might not like the one I have in mind." Clark nodded anyway and Lex ruffled his lover's hair again. 

"Please?" 

"Once upon a time, in a far away land called Vallensais there was a young man-" 

"Was he handsome?" Clark asked, looking up at Lex. 

"Well, I suppose he was," Lex answered. "The young man was bald and very pale and he worked out in the gym sometimes and wore a lot of purple and black-" 

"I think he was handsome." Clark interrupted again, grinning. 

"So, this handsome young man lived in the far away country and he was a Mason." Lex smiled and pulled Clark just a little bit closer. "He worked very hard and was very diligent and was very, very smart. In fact, he was so smart he knew the three things that would make him happy the rest of his life." Clark snickered and Lex glared at him for a moment. 

"Farmboy sex, sports cars, and imported water?" The teen asked, at which point Lex had to stop the story and tickle Clark. 

"No." Lex answered, when they were nestled together again. "The young Mason wanted to be as rich as the King, have a palace as nice as the King's, and he wanted to marry the King's daughter." 

Clark pouted. "The king's daughter?" 

"Well, yes, until he saw the Princess's brother and then fell absolutely in love with him. Compared to the Princess the young Prince was far more beautiful and had black hair and caramel colored skin and a pair of brilliant blue eyes. That and he looked much better in tights than the Princess did." Lex sighed. "Then the Mason changed his list to include the son instead of the King's daughter." 

"Yay!" Clark sighed. wrapping his arms around Lex. 

"Well, one day the Mason took his cart and put his tools in it along with some mortar and about a dozen burlap bags. He dressed in rags and hitched up his horse and set out for the potato fields. As he got closer to the fields a soldier stopped him and asked where the Mason was going and the Mason lied, telling the soldier he was a farmer and was going to pick up his potatoes. The soldier believed him and the Mason rode on, going past the potato fields and to the King's treasury. He looked at all the stones and found a loose one. With his tools he pulled it loose and climbed into the treasury and filled a burlap sack with gold and jewels. By the time he'd filled all the sacks, the treasury was half empty and he was as rich as the King." 

"Then what?" Clark eagerly asked. 

"The Mason took out his tools and put the stone back in place. When he rode past the soldier again the man merely assumed the bags were full of tubers. Later that day the King came down to the Treasury and nearly had a fit seeing that half the gold was gone; he ordered that the advisor that designed the Treasury be fed to the royal crocodiles, because the man had sworn that the building could not be broken into. Another advisor stepped up and told the King he had an idea on how to catch the Thief. The King would throw a party and spread out gold coins on the floor to show how rich he was. Surely the Thief would try to steal them, so all the King had to do was put soldiers all around the room and if they saw anyone bend down to pick a coin up-" 

"They'd arrest them?" 

"Hardly." Lex snorted. "They were supposed to feed them to the royal crocodiles, Clark. The Sly Thief, as the Mason was now known, couldn't resist the chance to go to the party and make eyes at the King's beautiful son. So he bought a ticket and dressed himself up nice in purple and black. He came to the ball in a coach with four black horses and everyone started whispering about who the man was. As soon as he saw the gold on the floor he figured out what the King was trying to do and so he snuck off to the corner and took out a knife and cut the heel off his shoe. Then he told one of the guards at the front door that his shoe had broken and asked to be let back in when he came back from the shoe repair." 

Clark giggled to himself. "The Sly Thief had heels on?" Lex pushed at his Lover. 

"Not like that, he was wearing boots, which were very fashionable then. Anyway, when he got to the shoe repair and the man was fixing the heel, the Sly Thief took a handful of tar and wrapped it up in his handkerchief in his pocket. Then he went back to the party and smeared the tar on his soles. As he danced with everyone the coins stuck to his shoes and every few dances he'd go over to the wall and pretend to rub at his feet, pocketing the coins as he did so. Finally the Sly Thief saw the Prince and fell even worse in love than before. He went right up to the young man, who was dancing with a neighboring Princess and tapped on the Princess's shoulder asking to cut in. Well, the girl stepped back only to have the Sly Thief reach in and drag the Prince into his arms. They spent the rest of the night dancing together." 

"Awww." Clark whispered, laying a kiss on Lex's neck. 

"Well, the King was furious about all the coins disappearing and he ordered his advisor to be fed to the crocodiles. Another advisor stepped forward and claimed that he had a wonderful idea on how to catch the Sly Thief. The King would throw another party and this time let the party run late, so everyone would have to sleep over. The Princess would be given a small bottle of indelible ink and if anyone came into her room she would paint an 'x' on their forehead. There was no way the Sly Thief could refuse sneaking into the Princess's bedroom. Well, the Princess knew how hot her little brother was and so she split the ink bottle with him the night of the party. Again the Sly Thief arrived in high style and danced all night with the Prince, telling his soon-to-be-lover about the wonderful palace he was having built. Just as everyone decided to leave due to the late hour the King invited everyone to sleep over, but warned them to stay out of the Princess's bedroom. The Sly Thief couldn't resist and as soon as everyone fell asleep he snuck into the Prince's room and they began kissing." 

"Oh!" 

"Exactly!" Lex agreed. "Well, the Sly Thief didn't want to make the Prince do anything he wasn't ready for and so he snuck out of the room and went back to sleep in the hall with everyone else. In the morning the Thief got up extra early so he could wash his face and look nice for his beloved, only to find an 'x' painted on his forehead. Laughing to himself, the Thief snuck into both the Prince and the Princess's room, stealing their bottles of ink. Then he began painting on everyone. Sometimes he put one 'x' and others he put a couple of 'x's. When he ran out of ink the Thief lay down and pretended to sleep. Not long after that the King ran into the room and started looking at everyone's foreheads. Finally he realized it was a trick and grew very angry, because the Sly Thief was so smart. The advisor was fed to the crocodiles." 

"I think I like the Sly Thief." Clark confessed. 

"You'd better." Lex said. "Another advisor came forward and told the King his idea and the King liked it. He threw another party and again told everyone to sleep over, but told them not to go into the Princess's rooms. The Thief got up in the middle of the night and snuck into the Prince's room, only to have the floor swing up like a see-saw and he fell into a pit that had been dug beneath both the Prince and the Princess's rooms. Realizing his error the Sly Thief cried out in a girly voice that there was a man in her rooms. Immediately all the people in the hall rushed into the Princess's bedroom and fell into the see-saw there, filling up the pit. The King was angry again, because with all those people in the pit he couldn't tell which one was the Sly Thief. Ladders were lowered into the pits and all the people were let out into the ballroom. The King walked around the ball room and looked at all the people before sighing and telling them that the Sly Thief had to come forward. No one moved." 

"Of course not," Clark said. "He'd probably feed them to the crocodiles!" 

"The King promised everyone that he wouldn't kill the Thief and so twenty young men stepped forward. The King asked them to prove that they were the Thief and nineteen of them stepped back, leaving the Mason standing there. The Mason took them to the Treasury, but it turned out that he had done such a good job putting the stone back in that no one could tell if there really was a secret passage there. Then he tried to show them the shoes, only to realize he'd thrown them away. And there was no way he could prove he'd been the first person down in the trap either. The King told him that if he couldn't prove he was the Thief he'd have to be fed to the crocodiles. The Prince suddenly stepped forward and pulled the Mason into his arms, laying a big kiss on the other man. The Prince pulled back a minute later and looked at his father, the King, and said, "Father, he's the one who's been sneaking into my room and I love him and I want to marry him." The King looked like he was about to have a heart attack for a moment and then allowed the two to be married." 

"And they lived happily ever after?" Clark demanded. 

"Yes. And they had lots of sex, too." 


End file.
